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Ideas & Quotes | Scenarios | Slogans | Warning Labels
Killer Vocabulary


Scenarios for Flashes, PSA's, & Commercials

Here are some sample slogans, scenarios, and random thoughts to trigger your imagination. Feel free to use any of these or come up with some of your own. If you come up with some really good ones, please post them on our BADvertising BBS. We’ll be featuring the best ones here in our Showcase.


Getting the First Date

Hi, Betty…
This is Richard. Do you remember me? We met at English Corner last week.

Sure…I remember. I really enjoyed your sense of humor.

Well, I’d like to invite you out for dinner. Do you have time on Saturday night?

Well, I have the time, but…
I think you smoke, don’t you?


Oh, I’m sorry….I only go out with non-smokers.

Of course, I can quit any time….

Yeah, right.
That’s what every smoker says….
If you can’t quit before we go out, then how will you quit afterwards?


I’d really like to go out with you.
Give me a call when you’re a non-smoker.

Job Interview

Door Creaks open….

“Ah, you must be Jonathan Lee…”

“Yes, Sir. I have a 10:00 appointment.

“Good, right on time. I’m Gerald Baxter, President of ……..
Won’t you sit down?”

“Thank you, Sir.”

I was very impressed with your resume and your telephone interview, Jonathan. You seem quite well-suited for our new position.”

“Thanks you, sir. I think so, too.”

“But I see now from the stains on your fingers and teeth that you smoke.”

‘Yes, Sir, sometimes….”

“I’m afraid that with the economy being what it is, our company can’t afford the higher maintenance and insurance costs, or ‘sick days’, or fire hazards incurred by smokers.”

“Yes, Sir. I understand, Sir….But I can quit…”

“I hope you do, Jonathan. We could use someone like you. But I’m afraid you’ll have to do it on your own time…. but give us a call after you do.”

“Yes, Sir”

Door closes.


Scene 1--Jerry and Harry are sitting and smoking together.

Jerry: “It’s a good thing that we have these cigarettes here so that we can have a deep meaningful relationship…”

Harry: “Yeah. It’s so great to have something in common”

Scene 2--Getting married…

Jerry’s bride: “I’m not asking you to get rid of your friend, just your cigarettes”

Jerry: “Well, I know, but this is the glue that holds our friendship together…”

Scene 3--The wife is in the kitchen, the baby is crying, the food is boiling over…
Jerry is sitting outside smoking with Harry.

Jerry: “What a nice relationship we have…relaxing with an old friend at the end of the day.”

Scene 4--Jerry and Harry are older and sitting in wheel chairs. Harry is holding an atomizer, Jerry has oxygen tubes in his nose and is holding the oxygen tank in his lap.

Harry: “Hey, can you turn off your air for a while so we can have another smoke?”

Jerry: “Sure, anything for a relationship with an old friend!”

Scene 5---The two men are lying in adjacent hospital beds, hooked up to a lot of tubes. Harry offers a cigarette to Jerry…

Harry: “I know you can’t smoke it, but just hold it, so that I’ll know that we still have our relationship.”

Jerry takes it, but it slips from his fingers and he dies.

Harry: “Hey, what did you do that for? I thought we were….”

Scene 6--Harry, his wife and child visit Jerry’s grave site with Jerry’s wife and child. The women and children walk away and Harry lingers in his wheelchair next to the grave.

Harry . “Well, the relationship is gone, but at least I still have my old friend (holding up the cigarette)…and after all, that’s what relationship is all about, isn’t it? “

Wedding Reception….

We see a bride and groom, plus two young men receiving guests at the door of a fancy hotel. The two young men are each holding three boxes of different brands of cigarettes and offering them to the guests. There’s a big bag full of cartons of cigarettes at their feet.

The guests greet the bride and groom… and turn down (brush off) the cigarettes with disapproving looks.

First guy “No, Thanks”

Second guy “Not for me….”

Third guy “I gave that up a long time ago”

The bride and groom turn to go into the hotel. The two young men look at their still-full packages of cigarettes, shrug their shoulders and offer one to the groom. He looks at them and says,

“Hey, don’t look at me…I’m a non-smoker now”

So they look at each other and hold out the packages and offer a cigarette to each other.

One shrugs his shoulders and says, “I don’t smoke”

The other one says, “Me neither!”

They pick up the back full of unopened cigarette cartons and one says confidentially to the other, “Do you think they can get their money back?”

Spitting up Phlegm…

Two attractive young men are standing at the train station, and they notice a smoker hawking big gob of phlegm. It lands on the back of a well-dressed lady’s shoe. He offers to wipe it off, and she’s disgusted. “Yuk, get away from me….” And she wipes it off herself, giving the man a dirty look.

“That’s disgusting. Why do people do that?”

“The smokers? Spitting up phlegm?”

‘Yeah. I mean, it spreads disease and it’s really disgusting. Look, people are stepping in it and tracking it all over. It’ll go home with them” “And he’s standing right under the sign that forbids him to do that.”

“Well, smokers get all this phlegm…they’re always coughing and hacking. What are they going to do with all that phlegm once they cough it up?” “But on the other hand, we don’t want it”

He gets an idea.

“The next time someone spits, he gets down on the ground, scrapes it up, and offers it back to the man. “ Excuse me, Sir. Did you drop something?”

“No good” Another idea.

He puts a plastic bag on the end of a long wire with a loop on the end, and the next time he hears a smoker coughing up phlegm, he runs over with his scoop and catches it before it hits the ground. “Excuse me, Sir. Is this yours?”

“Well, it’s a little more sanitary, but not too practical.”

Another idea. You see the two of them next to a stand selling cigarettes…One is selling “Phlegm Bags” . The other is selling books on how to quit smoking.

He just tried to kill us!

Two guys are chatting on the street.

“So, we’ll probably need more people to help us decorate for the party. Who should we invite?”

A young man approaches and tries to open a conversation. He offers a cigarette to each of them.

“Hi guys. What are you doing?” “Cigarette?”

They wave off the offer.

“Planning a party for next Saturday”

“Do you need some help?”

“Uh, no thanks, I think we’re all set.”

“Yeah…Ah thanks for the offer, but we have to go.”

“oh, OK.

The two walk away….“Did you see that? He just tried to kill us!”

Looking Grown-up—Here’s an idea…

If you really want to look like a grown-up smoker, why not try it out for a day? Just check in to your local hospital, put on a hospital gown, and hang out in the cancer ward for a while.

You can have the experience now (without all the pain and agony and financial burden). Lie in bed moaning and writhing around. Ask the doctors and nurses who come and poke around on your body what the options are for getting getting rid of the cancer. From here you have two options.
1) You can gradually taper off with the writhing, struggle to get out of be, and eventually stroll around the hallway pushing an IV pole (for intervenous feedings), Don’t forget to move very slowly and keep moaning. Feel free to wince every now and then. While you’re up, you might check out the emphasyma, heart attack, stroke, and amputation patients. Ask them why they’re there. Ask them were they’d rather be.
2) The other option is to stop your moaning and writhing very suddenly with one long loud gasp, and lie real still until they finally come and cover your face with a white sheet.


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